Loads are usually NOT waived in 403b funds.  Thank your lucky stars you have the option to buy a loaded fund and not an annuity.  Welcome to the wonderful world of 403b's.  You can try fighting for a plan with fidelity or vanguard but it's probably not going to happen b/c the use of brokers and insurance companies transfer the costs to you rather than your employer.

In the meantime, deal with the reality.  Fund a Roth first unless it makes a difference in your income tax break point and if the rarity that you have a match.  After totally funding your Roth, select a quality house like American or Franklin funds and stick with it - learn about break points and promise letters - you're broker/advisor certainly won't encourage that and use it to your advantage.

Roberta