Based on what I saw of the Millenials on campus shortly before I retired, I would answer your questions as follows:

1.  No, you are not a neanderthal, but likely these kids think we both are.

2.  Yes, a lot of the young people (not all--many are very service-oriented) not only expect instant gratification, but, as you noted, they want no emotional connection of any kind.  I can recall kids bragging in class (this is in a major university) that they got so wiped out on a weekend that they couldn't remember what they did--something they thought was the ultimate "experience.'

3. Are you (we) "hopelessly out of touch?"  No, they are.  They are the ones who need to have earphones in their heads because they can't stand to consider their own thoughts or, God forbid, hear the sounds of silence.

All of this could be changed in an instant if we did not allow any graduating high school senior to go directly to community college or college/university.  Instead, they would have to give some service of some kind for at least one, if not two, years before they could apply for entrance to higher education.

By far (in my experience) the most motivated students are those who either served or worked before they came to higher education.  Bob U.

P.S. It was my experience that you could learn a lot about (and from) many of these disconnected students if you met their parent(s) or heard their kids talk about them when they came to visit during office hours.  Very dismaying stuff.